So, you might remember my difficulty in obtaining tickets when I went to visit Slozo last month. This was not an isolated incident. For a good overview of what I'm talking about, see this fine article at Talk Talk China.  (this is a great example of Iron Rice Bowl holdouts)

So on Tuesday, I went to the train station to obtain a ticket to Pingquan, where Very is currently teaching English. I knew there might be some difficulty, because this is the busiest travel time in China. People are crazy right now. Think Thanksgiving or Christmas in the United States and you've got roughly the same mentality, although in China it's got it's own special flavor since people don't know how to stand in queues.

Where was I... Right, Tuesday at the train station. I went to the right window this time but when I asked if there were any tickets on Friday or Saturday, all I got was "meiyou". So I cursed calmly under my breath and went home. That night I  discussed the matter with Very and decided to try again the following day with the city of Chengde as a destination instead. (that's Chengde not Chengdu, which is where Slozo went)

Oh, so as a brief aside, Very suggested that I take the bus to Chengde instead of the train. Now, for those of you who are used to Greyhound (or National Whateverthefuck in UKia), that doesn't sound too bad. Well, Very took the bus from Beijing to Chengde and gave me a rough description: You go wait on the side of the road at a specific spot in Beijing. A large van comes by and picks you up. You pay the driver some amount of money (no idea how this is determined) depending on where you are going and then you get out when you arrive. So, Very made this journey in the company of locals. She was suggesting that I do it on my own (at first. There was later an offer to go with people who were also on the way to Pingquan). Right. I know enough Chinese to barely get by in Beijing and you want me to do what now? Get on a bus. Negotiate a price. Uhhh, how am I not going to look like a fucking piggy bank to these people? How am I going to know if I'm headed in the right direction? How am I not going to get robbed again? Sorry sweetest Very darling, it's just not gonna happen.

On Wednesday, I went to the train station again to try to buy a ticket. This time I was going for either Pingquan or Chengde. Also, this time the ticket counters were packed full of peasants that were all tripping out about their travel arrangements. Lemme try and paint a picture for you:
I go to good ole ticket window #1 where my usual ticket vending nemesis is busily not selling tickets. At the window there is something resembling a "queue" but really it looked like a crowd of people that was ready to crush whoever happened to have the worst luck. I assumed a position in the "queue" and did my damnedest not to let anyone in front of me who wasn't already there. Some nongmin motherfucker pushes his way in behind me but cannot get by me. He's babbling excitedly in heavily accented Chinese. All I can understand is "laowai" every now and then. I turn and give him the best dirty look I can muster. Keep in mind that I haven't opened my mouth to say anything at this point. He continues to be pushy and I assume, complain about the damned laowai that won't step aside like a little bitch. I give him the evil eye a couple more times. Finally, I can't stand it anymore. I turn to him and spit: "Do you have a problem?" (in Chinese of course). He gives me an answer that I don't understand a single word of. He could have been cursing me and my ancestors for all I know. Anyhow, this seemed to grab the attention of the rest of the pushy bastards behind me. Bout the only other thing I understood from them was "he understands (what is being said)". While that wasn't very close to the truth, I kept my mouth shut so they could wonder just how much I did and didn't understand. Some larger guys gave me a strong talking to. I think they were trying to intimidate me. I ignored them. Some poor guy in front of me was also getting the treatment from some of these guys. Truly a pack of shitheads looking push "weaker" people around. I honestly expected a fight to break out but then I remembered that confrontations rarely become physical in this country. (that and there was a cop like 2 meters away)
Well, I finally got to the ticket counter. Yet again, "meiyou". This time I was quite sure I was being lied to. As the ticket lady was working on the computer I what looked like available tickets show up on the screen for the train to Chengde. (this did not happen for the train to Pingquan) Perhaps it was paranoia. I left the station empty handed yet again.

After that I decided to enlist Cookie's assistance. She got on the phone with some agents who are usually pretty reliable when it comes to getting tickets. Long story short, she passed the number of an agent on to me and I had Very talk with him (since her Chinese is soooo much better). Tonight I went and picked up a ticket. It was for the same train I asked about on Wednesday. (the one that looked like it had tickets)

So here's the problem. Large numbers of train tickets are bought up by agents who are looking to make a buck. So, while most people can't get a ticket at the train station, it's quite straightforward to get one via an agent. It's a fucking racket. Pure and simple. I'll say this in English, just so you know how serious I am: "Fuck You, China Rail!". I've discussed this with some of my Chinese friends and they agree with me. They deal with the same shit when buying tickets. This isn't an issue of my white face trying to buy a ticket (not so much at least). This is an issue of a greedy and corrupt monopoly fucking their customers.

Ok.. I feel better now. :) I'm getting up at the butt-crack of dawn tomorrow to go to Chengde. Very's boss is gonna meet me there and we'll take a taxi the last 100 kilometers to Pingquan. It should be cool. I'm gonna spend Chinese New Year in a "small" town! (small being, I dunno... a million people?)

Chinese New Year, aka Chun Jie, aka Spring Festival. Fireworks are inextricably linked to this holiday. So for the last month, or starting about a week or so before Christmas there have been intermittent explosions all over Beijing. Let's get one thing straight here. The Chinese do not fuck around when it comes to fireworks. For the last two weeks, my neighborhood has sounded like a war zone. *Thump!* ... *Pop!* (Car alarms) *Rat tat tat tat*. Right now as I'm typing, another shell exploded in the neighborhood. These mortars are not like the ones you buy in the states. I swear they're twice as loud. When they explode, it trips every car alarm in a 1 kilometer radius. This goes on nearly 24-7. It's not constant but it is pretty steady. So like I said, it's been going on for the last month. It seems to be reaching a crescendo. I can only imagine what it's going to be like this weekend. I'll just have to ask Jester what it was like.

Jester and I have been on the lookout for people selling fireworks on the street. We haven't seen anything. Lucky for me, Very has promised that her people in Pingquan have a line on the good stuff. I'm gonna take a couple hundred RMB along for the sole purpose of buying some grade A Chinese Yanhua (fireworks). Don't worry Mom, I'll be careful (I survived adolescence, so I know my way around explosives). I'll be sure to take some pictures too. Perhaps my big brother will recognize some of the shells that I buy (and will leave a comment about them).

Until then, Enjoy the year of the Cock while it lasts! The Dog is on its way.